TW: anti-autistic (allist) assumptions, ableism, clinical assessment (for ASD), ABA, child abuse
self-dx is not only valid, “official” (clinical) diagnosis isn’t even an available choice for a lot of us, for a number of reasons, including economic ones, as well as numerous forms of oppressive bias. in that case, self-dx is not only valid, it’s the only option.
it’s wrong to try to invalidate people over it, and it’s a personal decision, regardless. it’s nobody’s business.
imagine if people said: “yes, but are you *really* gay? are you *sure* you’re trans?”
people in fact do this as well, and they’re also wrong!
this isn’t a complicated thing – people treat it like it’s a debate. there’s no debate.
there’s also a more subtle form of invalidation that happens sometimes:
“self-dx is valid! really though, getting officially diagnosed is the thing that changed my life. it’s so important.”
the missing “for me” at the end of that sentence isn’t a minor thing. it infers that there’s a social heirachy, relative to validation, and even acceptance.
even the term “official” diagnosis has bias in it. so, if you don’t have a clinical diagnosis, you’re unofficial? like a knock off bag at the flea market?
the best write-ups on “get diagnosed or not” i’ve read are these:
https://autisticsciencelady.wordpress.com/2018/12/21/the-neurotypical-autism-diagnosis/
if you’re able to access getting assessed: don’t expect miracles. figure out what it’s going to get you, and what it *won’t* get you, then decide. do your own research beforehand, to whatever degree is possible!
*YOU*– yes, you – are the best arbiter of your own neurology. use whatever means are at your disposal to your best possible advantage, including refusing “treatment” if it’s not of benefit to you. (this applies in general, including if a dx is being forced on you, btw.)
if anybody tells you otherwise: they’re not your friend, and you don’t owe them an explanation. period.
if someone tells you that you’re not valid because of self-dxing, of being diagnosed as an adult, of not being diagnosed by a doctor? repeat these words:
“i don’t care what you think. goodbye.”
i don’t care who is saying it. professionals, parents, *deep sigh* other autistic people.
if you can get away from them, do so, they’re being abusive and don’t have *YOUR* best interests in mind.
footnote:
when dx is decided for us without our consent, it’s frequently traumatizing.
it may be useful afterwards, especially if you’re diagnosed as an adult, or not useful at all (or even harmful, if you’re subjected to ABA) — but the process itself can come as a shock.
these two things – choosing to pursue a diagnosis (including self-diagnosis) and clinical diagnosis that’s not by choice – are not mutually exclusive! we can work together. in fact, we need to work together, to take back the media and social narratives from corrupt organizations such as Autism $peaks. this includes allies — partners, friends, parents who accept and listen to us, and work together with us as advocates.
there’s no shortage of splitters and haters over this. ignore them all, and work together on getting us all free instead.