TW: institutionalization, false imprisonment, pathologizing, school system, ableism, oppression olympics, “shiny” aspies

autvoid, n. the place in society where an autistic person, especially someone who has been marginalized or oppressed out of support and resources, lives. think “unmasking” (or not being able to mask) while living out in the world, but without a tangible diagnosis (of whichever sort), or the words to describe what you’re going through. can also refer to people who were assessed but not diagnosed, diagnosed but not told the results, or otherwise lacking in agency as an autistic person.

i’ve lived in the autvoid a lot. a vaguely-shaped form, buying groceries and getting “inexplicably” overwhelmed. melting down. stopped by a cop, and not able to say a single word. assessed in childhood, not told the results. a lot of experiences, not much in the way of answers. that was me for a long time.

a lot of us live there. 50-60%, by one account.

some of us live out in NT society, and suffer as a result.

many of us are undiagnosed, or misdiagnosed.

some of us are assessed and/or diagnosed, but were locked out of the details. or were assessed, told, and nothing else happened. “You’re autistic, I think, or whatever. Get back to class.”

some of us live at home, sometimes, or all the time. including in adulthood.

some of us are institutionalized, or in prison.

the autvoid is a place where the very large subaltern that makes up *most* of our community lives. this doesn’t discount or erase the lived experiences of those of us who are diagnosed! people seem to struggle with this, and to be honest, i’m not sure why. it seems disingenous. perhaps they’re used to getting what they want, or are insecure in themselves? (see this post from silent wave blog for a critique of this “anti-self-dx” nonsense.) using one experience to try to cancel out another smells to me of oppression olympics. as i keep saying, and will keep on saying: “we are all part of one spectrum“.

in my view, if you’re autistic, you’re autistic. if you don’t know, you’re still autistic. if you’re being oppressed as a result, you’re *definitely* autistic. “Autistic” with a capital “A”, even. you need — and deserve — support! we just haven’t found each other yet, due to a lack of accessible, useful resources.

here’s to being found. ✊🏽