trigger warnings: anti-neurodiversity, anti-self-advocacy, identity policing, ableism, anti-autistic nonsense
i’m writing this in the hopes that people won’t have to learn the “terrain” of autistic diagnosis and the Autistic community the hard way, which is mostly what i did (but with a lot of help from the self-advocacy and neurodiversity communities). while i am grateful for the efforts of self-advocates who got me through it all, it wasn’t the best of experiences — so much information! so many conflicts! it can be draining. anyway, here’s the show.
when I self-dx’d, I’d been in counter-cultural movements for decades. “accepting who you are unconditionally” is something i became aware of in my teens, and that i periodically refreshed throughout my life. (i’ve come out of a *lot* of closets.)
mostly what i needed to accept and embrace being autistic was information (especially from self-advocates as well as #ActuallyAutistic people who share similar multiple oppressions to mine), and a bit of a push.
so, self-diagnose? get diagnosed “officially”? both?
*if* you can “go through the official channels”, and *if* it’s going to get you something, sure. i did and i don’t regret it. it’s also an expensive and/or arduous, time-consuming process, in a lot of cases, but it can be paper in hand.
here’s some more things about community conflicts (and solutions), in the hopes to make things easier for whoever reads this, especially if you’re considering if you’re autistic, or are recently diagnosed (either self-dx or “officially”).
get away from the people who try to gatekeep who is and who isn’t autistic as quickly as possible, unless you have the stamina (a *lot* of stamina) to challenge or confront them. i’ve seen people become very overwhelmed in comments sections, because they tried to reason or argue with people that assert that self-dxing isn’t valid, that being diagnosed as an adult isn’t valid, or even (especially from some parents in “the autism community” — as in, parents and clinicians, most of whom aren’t autistic, and many of whom are cure-focused rather than self-advocacy and neurodiversity-focused) that you can’t be autistic if you mask your being autistic. this includes people who say “neurodiversity lite” things, but make the same assertions as anti-neurodiversity people do.
this is widely accepted as being false, both by people in the Autistic community, and by the standards bodies that publish the DSM and ICD – but they say it anyway.
simply put: they’re wrong. that corner of things is a “dumpster fire“, save yourself the stress and bother, if you can.
cynthia kim addresses this as well:
also, people who are against self-dx and adult diagnosis will claim that autistic people who are inclusive of *all* autistics, are doing that because they’re high-functioning. not only is that offensively anti-autistic, and anti-disability rights, it’s also ignorant of the work people have done, including autistic self-advocates who aren’t labeled as “high functioning”.
instead of getting stuck in the drama of all that, read cynthia kim’s excellent “I Think I Might Be Autistic“, and read or watch the blogs and videos of self-advocates, such as Amy Sequenzia, Amethyst Schaber, Lydia Brown, Kieran Rose, and Neurodivergent Rebel. if you’re non-speaking to whichever degree, read this! as well as the book “Typed Words, Loud Voices“. If you’re looking for autistics of color, Morénike Giwa Onaiwu and Black Autist. if books are a good means of getting information for you, “Knowing Why“, “Loud Hands“, “All The Weight of Our Dreams“, and as mentioned previously, “Typed Words, Loud Voices” all are excellent introductions to the Autistic community, and are self-advocacy focused. lastly, familiarize yourself with the Autistic self-advocacy organizations, such as ASAN and AWNBN.