(Caveat: diagnostic tests are an indicator, but not the “final word”, including for self-dx. (Is there a final word? What are words?) I’m working on a list of autism-themed books and blogs, which provide a lot more context.)

I found these posts the other day, thought I’d share.

Why actually autistic tag

(Possibly) controversial opinion:

I think taking the AQ test more than once might be necessary in some cases.

The first time I took it, I “passed”, but after I thought about it for a couple of days, I realized that I might’ve taken the test incorrectly.

The test is designed 1-4, not 1-10 (and scored 1-2), from definitely agree to definitely disagree. Which for a “spectrum” test, is an…interesting choice for testing format, but whichever.

I kept thinking “Why does this feel like it should be numbered 1-10? There’s things that feel like I should’ve answered 7/10, in terms of per-question autistic assessment, that were…somewhere else. It’s as if I was denying what the autistic inference is (“Do you like trains?”) for some of the questions, or perhaps the mapping of the options itself threw me.” (This is a common thing for me with multiple choice questions. “Well…maybe? It really depends on this, and this, and this, and this, and. Also, “this question is offensive, so *answers question sarcastically*, or feels an impulse to. Or the “boxes” in the test format contradict each other, or don’t represent an accurate answer — what does “slightly” mean? Slightly relative to what?”) I’m not sure if this is denial, or some other thing, but something’s off.”

So I took it again, and my score went up. o.O

Also, if you’re not aware of the issues surrounding how autistic women have been misdiagnosed or ignored, including on the basis of now-outmoded criteria, it’s good to know about:

Understanding the Gender Gap: Autistic Women and Girls

This includes questions in the AQ, which is why I’m mentioning it. The classic example is “trainspotting and math” sorts of questions/assertions.

In case anybody is curious, my (self-administered) AQ scores after repeated testing are, in order by date: 33, 41, 42, 48. The last one was done after having two meltdowns in a week, while recovering from one burnout cycle, and working to not wind up in another one. My guess is that my mask fell completely off. “The Mask coming off is exactly what happens during the Autistic Burnout period.”

Also, I’m going through a process of letting go of being closeted (and the masking and denial that comes with that). So it’s possible — and most probably, likely — that I was in partial denial the first time I took the test. I think it’s possible that the first score, the second two, and the last one are clustering relative to my levels of self-acceptance as autistic. That said, it’s just one test. It’s a process.